worn out

today i had a nap... i hate sleeping with a burning passion and so doing so in the day goes against my instinct, this is a bad idea, weird dreams and a totally messed up sleep schedual followed... oh well tats is life, and those 11hour days will be appreciated in september when i have to buy food... today was a little brutal though my 9-2 shift became 7:30-5:30 which is fine but we were under staffed, meaning that we had to work extra hard,

on the positive side i'm not sick

i need to get a job one day where i work people other than girls in highschool, that is my new goal in life, get a job where i work with either an equal number of girls and guys or with people my age, i hate drama....

celtic music is nice (itunes is going)

i wish i ahdn't napped, it was only 2h but now i am wired

...

peace

living in a shack with ecoli, and a brief time as a squatter... my summer so far

So the camp I work at gives me accomidations every summer. This summer the cabin for the male staff has been rightfully nicknamed, the shack. Why? well its a bit sketchy. first of all when you walk i you notice taht there is no drywall, and then no insulation, the slat walls you see on the interior is the back of the boards you saw from outside. also these boards are not sealed, or rather thye are but only by the flaking white paint they are covered in. I wake up everymorning to the light coming in between the boards and occasionally a few bugs with it. Next you will noice the most extremely slanted floor i have ever seen. It slopes in 2 direction and the slope is big enough that if you sleep in the bedroom with your head at the wrong end of the bed you will wake up in the middle of the night with no circulation to your feet. I however sleep in the living room on a futon, which has been slowly falling apart all summer. As of last night 2 rivets have now snapped off leaving the futon sloped at one end and permenantly stuck halfway between bed and couch mode.

now as for the ecoli line in my title, i never actually had ecoli, although they thought i did at one point. rather i had a nasty stomach infection which they suspect i got through drinking or eating something bad at some point. anyways i got sick and in a period of 6 hours dehydrated myself to the point where i had to be hospitalized for 2 nights while they pumped me full of anti-biotics and IV. I'm good now though

and my brief time as a squatter. so i was at waterloo the other weekend and after staying too late the first night and getting stranded in downtown kitchener and having to rely on the help of these wonderful stoners i met to get back to my sisters i decided just to stay in renison the second night.... well another one of my friends was up that weekend without a place to stay as the person she had planned to stay with had left to go home that weekend... anyways in the end we broke into the room of the girl that had gone home and since there were two beds there we stayed the night there, so technically i think that classifies us as squatters.... oh and btw just to add another twist to the story, the room i stayed in was on the all girls floor, lol it was a fun adventure

random word order

so whenever i see anything i first read it in a random order and then unscramble it, but sometimes funny combinations of words are made, especially in list form, today i was surfing facebook and i went to someones profile it read

Persons Name
sex:male
interested in: women

but i read it

persons name, intersted in, sex, (random gibberish)... it was amusing

Getting Older

So I went on facebook today and saw that 2 people had added photos of weddings (one was older people so that didn't make me feel old... but one was of people I remeber as being teenagers), this weekend bpoth My sister and My parents are attending weddings, again people I remmeber being younger... people are getting married, kinda makes one feel old,... its going to be weird when those people getting amrried change to being my friends instead of the friends of my siblings/ friends older siblings... i guess I don't have to worry too much though, no offense to anyone but the majority of my friends entered the dating thing late so I prob still ahve a while... but it is weird growing up, meh, that is live, born, baby, kid, teen, adult, adult with grey hair, senile old person, dead, lol ok not that simple but its all life,...
peace?

old band shirt

I've been bored lately and so i was doing watercolor... and then i ran outta illustration board and my pens ran outta ink.. and then i was cleaning my closet and came across 5 tux shirts from when i was in band... i havn't worn them since so i decided to use the iron on transfers in my closet (convenient huh) to make one cooler so i'll actually wear it... check out the links below (the gamers will appreciate it)

http://jordanpedde.deviantart.com/art/oldband-shirt-part-2-84349549

http://jordanpedde.deviantart.com/art/old-band-shirt-84349389

Apology for what we've become

this is not a carefully researched or carefully written entry just what is in my mind and on my heart, take it for what it is

If there is one thing that drives me up the wall its Christians who don't live up to their name. We are to be like Jesus, we are essentially 'little-Christs'. We tend to suck at being this. I mean historically we've made a huge mess of things. Ther was that whole business with the crusades and all sorts of other terrible things done in the name of Christ. Even now we don't act like Christ. When we become more focused on making sure everyone is living right than on loving each other we are making a terrible mistake. Jesus would speak with everyone even before they changed. When we refuse to interact with a sub-culture because we believe their actions are wrong we are doing a terrible injustice. One can disapprove of ones actions and still love them. we tend to forget this. and what about grace? we make accusations against one another, some justly others falsely, and then we tear each others' throats over them.... WE SUCK! in case you haven't noticed I have issues with the Church. who doesn't these days, people do all these terrible things to each other, don't love, don't forgive... but you know what, thats why Christianity exists. If people weren't notorious for screwing things up we would have never needed forgiveness. People are screwed up and we will continue to screw up, however this doesn't excuse our actions we need to continue to strive to love each other, to be Christ like. As a Christian I realize that I fall short often. If I have forgotten to treat you with love, I ask for forgiveness... If the church or anyone else in the church has hurt you i ask you're forgiveness. We aren't supposed to act like that. We are human, we screw up and so I apologize for our actions.

Why I refer to God as a he

I don't think God has gender. The Bible makes reference to God as both a father and a mother, I don't think this means that God is neccessarily just a combination of both genders but rather that all of our attributes as humans made in the image of God, come from the complexity of God that we will never fully understand. I believe that God transcends gender. So why do I refer to God as a him? I think its because I am a guy. It just seems natural for me to relate to God as a guy as it helps me to feel a common link between me and God, its a way of speaking about God that doesn't seem so vague and obscure. Also I think in the english language it is common to refer to androgynous things as male... but i could be terribly wrong about that, I really don't know anything about linguistics. Point is that although I refer to God as a male I don't think that God can be limited by gender.

Free will

So if God knows everything, does he knows what choices we'll make before we make them? because if he does do we really have free will? I think God sees all the possible realities that can be made by every possible choice we make, and so he is never surprised by what decisions we make, because he has accepted the fact that we may do that, whether or not he knows which plane of reality we will choose I don't know. Honestly, I don't think this is an issue of great importance to my faith right now, it may be an issue I look at in the future but right now there are many more important issues I feel I should look at first. I think it is important to ration how many questions we take on at a time and sort out what we believe on the issues we currently are thinking about before moving on to taking on more questions. If we try to question everything at once we won't ever find the answers to everything. At the same time I think its important to always be willing to question anything so that we don't become too set on our own opinions that we are ignorant of other ideas.

EVIL

One issue that I am continuously forced to question my beliefs on is evil. Its not so much issues of divine providence or theodicy but rather what I believe evil is. What one defines evil as influences all of ones beliefs as to what is good, how God is good, and what sin is. So many issues are influenced by evil that I believe it is an essential first step to theology to determine what you believe evil is. A relativist point of view would define evil as different for everyone or could say evil doesn't exist. Others believe that evil is caused by the influence of fallen angels, spirits, or demons. I firmly believe that evil does exist. I also firmly believe that there is no such 'thing' as evil. I believe evil to be a negative state of existence. It is like the cold or darkness, neither of these actually exist. The cold is merely a lack of heat (or lack of movement of particles if you want to get picky), the dark is just a place that is without light. So if God is all good is evil a thing that occurs when God is not present? well, seeing as God is omnipresent thats kinda hard to believe as God is everywhere. I believe that evil is created when the will of God is not present. So then, if God created everything did God create evil? yes, and no. God is all good and can not create evil, but i believe God can create the possibility for evil. By giving man freewill God created the possibility for his will to be ignored, and when God's perfect will is not followed evil is created. So basically that summarizes where I am at my beliefs about evil at the moment, they'll most likely change, this is not the same view i held a few years ago, but then any thoughts to do with God, theology and spirituality are always likely to change, we can never fully grasp all of their content and as we gain fuller understanding our thoughts and views change accordingly. I think everyones definition of evil is slightly different and I think we can grow by listening to and considering the views of others, and so to those reading this on my blog (and Prof. Frick if you want you can leave a comment in the margins while marking this) I would like to hear what your own personal definition of evil is.

Christianity and Education

In the middle ages monasteries were the center of learning. They studied the bible but also secular topics. Over time education has been largely secularized. This has lead to a rise of two separate institutions for education: the secular university and the Christian seminary. Theology has remained as a possible field of study in some universities but with the rise of multi-culturalism this field has been replaced in many universities (including the university of waterloo) by 'religious studies'. Religious studies looks at a variety of religions giving one a good base knowledge to understand how religion affects the world around them (such as how it affects society and how it affects international relations) but one must ask: 'if one is studying every religion can they adequately fully understand any specific one?' ... this may explain the popularity of Christian seminaries as an alternative to the university. At a Christian seminary one can study Christianity in depth as their education is focused on the understanding of this one religion. I believe that there are many positive aspects of both of these methods of education. Those, like myself, who are persuing an education in Christianity can benefit from the approaches held by both places of education. I believe that it important for clergy and those in ministry to understand the values and beliefs held by other religious traditions so that we can communicate and be respectful of each others' beliefs and practices. It is for this reason that I am studying at a university rather than a Bible college. Also I believe that by looking at the texts of other religions we can better understand some aspects of christianity. For example in Christianity we will say God is omnipresent, this term is very exact and correct but can difficult to fully comprehend. On the other hand Hindus when speaking of the Brahman being in all creation describe it as salt dissolved in water. Even though the Brahman doesn't fit into Christianity the descriptions used to describe some of its aspects can help us better understand the Judeo-Christian God. The downside to taking religious studies is that one is not as free to delve into the study of the one religion they are focusing on. The generality of religious studies has led me to start considering transferring to a Christian seminary in the later years of my study. By studying religious studies at a secular institution first and Biblical studies at a Christian seminary later I believe I would be able to gain both an adequate knowledge of Christianity but also have some knowledge about other religions that would allow for better inter-faith relations than if I studied solely in a Christian seminary. In the end I don't believe that neither the secular university or the seminary is superior. Both have specific strengths and weaknesses and serve to give different sets of knowledge in terms of religion. Where one chooses to study may best be decided based on what they plan to do after their education and what knowledge set would be most beneficial to what they plan to do.

The Church: An Unfortunate Community Masquerade.. at least at times

Is a church merely a building with a steeple, a place for christians to congregate once a week for their service rituals? No, the church is a community that encompasses all those in the body of christ despite nit-picky disagreements that cause us to separate into denominations. This community is to try to live like Christ, to live in the kingdom of heaven on earth. This means that the church needs to be concerned with social justice. Now, it is true that in todays society the government takes care of a lot of people who would have previously been taken care of by the church (such as government pension to seniors and the disables who can no longer work). However, there are still many social issues in which the church should be involved, we would live quite differently if we really considered 'What Would Jesus Do?' before every action. For example: would Jesus really toss a tin can on the ground? or would he recycle it so that it could be reused instead of harming the earth his Father created? The church often loses sight of this. We become more concerned of keeping those who may not necessarily live a 'christian lifestyle' outside of our neighborhoods than with loving them. We need to remember that Jesus hung out with prostitutes and tax collectors who stole. The original church, that is those who first started following Christ, were open about their downfalls, their lifestyle changed when they started following Christ and everybody knew it because they knew who they had been and who they were after following Christ.
Today I believe that we see this change and often believe that we must show no remnants of our old lives. This often leads to a false from being put on by Christians that make us appear like we have our entire life together and do not struggle with sin. The early church used to have a time at their meetings for public confessions of sins in front of the entire congregation. Now i recognize that with our current society and legal issues that go along with some sins not all sins can be told to the entire church meeting, but i believe that it is extremely important to talk about our struggles and shortcomings with each other within the church body. When we fail to share our struggles and get encouragement from one another we become hypocritical preaching against that which we hide and let grow in the dark corners of our lives (which leads to situations like the one that involves Ted Haggard). I believe that the Church exists largely to fulfill the function of James 5:6:
" Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. "
As a Church we exist to help and support each other and the world around us, not judge.

More on Sin

ya this isn't anything really deep on my part, more just me rambling while considerung another idea presented to me... so, in other words its just filler for this journal I have to hand in


After posting my previous entry on my blog I recieved a response from a friend named Jordan Dyck who is a third year biblical studies student. He stated his view on sin:
"I would view "original sin" as the fact that we are born into a community which will at some point give us choices between two things, neither of which are God's best. The best we can do is try to live a life which is as close to Godly as we can get on earth. This is why we needed an external redeemer, to perfectly live human life. "
Although not a creditable theologian I believe that as followers of Christ, we are all able to make statements that cause each other to think theologically. This quotation raises a very important factor in understanding our state of sin. We live in a society created by those with sin and therefore our society is imperfect and causes further imperfection. This statement suggests that the Blank slate view held by the Pelagians could hold true without compromising the need for salvation in Christ. This view holds that we are predestined to fall into a state of sin by tarnishing our blank slate by sinning in a situation beyond our control (such as a child being forced to either lie or disrespect their parents). It could be argued that this predestined fall into a state of sin supports Augustine's view of original sin, which although delayed in its creation is very present in this view. Overall I believe this to be a very well thought out theological view that I should consider and possibly see how it fits within the views expressed in my previous entry as it seems I am looking for a balance between the views of Augustine and of the Pelagians on this issue. The situation of society forcing one into a situation where one must sin could quite possibly be linked to the realization of right and wrong which I previously mentioned. In the end I believe this is an issue which has too many facets to be understood entirely by man but hopefully as we mull over the concept he can continue to understand it on deeper levels.

Original Sin vs Blank slate

I'm really not sure if i agree with all i wrote here but its the current thought going through my mind...hope its coherant


The Pelagians believed that we are born as a blank slate free from sin and that we sin because we are given bad examples as all that have gone before us have also sinned. Augustine believed that we are born into a state of sin. I find both of these ideas very tempting and yet can't agree with either of them. If we all start without sin and only sin by imitation we should all just shelter our children so they never are exposed to sin and therefore keep their innocence as they never will be able to imitate sin. On the other hand if we are born into a state of sin than even a child who dies minutes after being born would be guilty of sin and therefore would be separated from God. I believe when Jesus says "Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." in Matthew 19:14, he is acknowledging that children have a grasp on the kingdom of heaven (which i believe to be as much of a state of living on earth as a state after death)... I think that this implies that there is a further separation that occurs as we grow older. So in a sense I do believe in original sin, as without an inherited sin we would be able to achieve salvation without Christ, but I also believe that our state of sin is acquired. Original sin began with mankind gaining the knowledge of good and evil, therefore I think that original sin is linked to that concept. If a child is too young to understand the difference from good and evil I believe that they have not yet entered into our state of sin. Once a child is able to grasp this concept of good and evil I believe that a change takes place. The child now is able to recognize the sins that they have committed and therefore enter a state of sin (note the connection between sins and sin, this is very close to the pelagian view) ... therefore I think that both the Pelagians and Augustine had a grasp on the concept of sin, but in the end i believe that sin is an issue much bigger for the human mind to understand completely. Now just because we don't understand every aspect of the problem of sin doesn't mean we can't know the answer. God is much bigger than the mind can comprehend and therfore I believe very much that God can solve any problem, even ones we can't understand completely.

Nakedness

ok so for theology i have ot keep a bit of a journal of my theological thoughts so i decided to post them here to keep track of them, heres the first one:

Theological anthropology

In class the idea was presented that one can not know themselves fully with out another. I both fully agree and fully despise that statement. In terms of people I am the first to say that people need people, at times in my life I have had some hermit like characteristics and I know that individual isolation does no good for the individual. My problem with that statement comes with the type of relationship it was referring to. The lecture was on the importance of nudity; about how nudity is an absolute openness, and that men and women were made for each other; that together we are one and therefore one is incomplete on their own. I think one can know themselves fully without a lover. Theres a hole in the logic of believing that a man must be with a woman in order to know himself fully. According to this logic we must diregard the writings of every monk who has ever sworn celibacy, the apostle Paul and even Jesus… I mean all of them were single and therefore didn’t fully know themselves, and how can one that doesn’t fully understand what it means to be human write anything of value in regards to the meaning of being human?
So I don’t believe that one needs a spouse to know themselves but I think we do need people. So much of what we know about ourselves comes from being in contact with other people. The Bible is full of communities and in the new testament the idea of being united in a body of Christ is presented. I think we can create close relationships that aren’t of a romantic nature that will help us better understand ourselves. Being part of a community helps complete us.
Physical nakedness may be symbolically powerful as to our openness to one another but I believe one can be just as exposed emotionally. James 5:16 tells us to confess our sins to each other. I believe that by sharing our shortcomings with one another we essentially are exposing one of the deepest parts of our existence to each other. I think the view point that there needs to be a physical nakedness to accompany an emotional openness is very egocentric of those who do have that act of physical symbolism available to them and that this view point could be potentially harmful to older single people in a church community.

Ottawa

So I'm in Ottawa for the week visiting my sister. I went to this cool carnival called winterlude (spelling?). Anyways it was just over the ontario Quebec line so I figured I had to buy a poutine (I mean it was the French Canadians who first thought to combine cheese and gravy on french fries). It was good, made with actual cheese curds but a tad overpriced ($5 for a pretty small regular), buy hey what ya gunna do, it was a carnival, and everything else was free. There were some cool snow sculptures and these giant snow slides (which soaked right through my snow pants), and then there were some really amazing ice scuptures, but we only saw them from a distance as we got there too late, But yes Ottawa is great, me and my sister Jasmine just chilled today and ya, I'm going to enjoy my week. peace

Ethnocentrism is blah!

So i'm sitting in philosophy and basically the philosopher we're studying, who the teacher seems to agree with, suggests that western art is better then eastern. His idea's are much more complex then that but I am sick and tired of the massive amounts of ethnocentrism in our society. Its lame, go look at some foreign stuff its beautiful... mind you I'm at risk of becoming a Xenocentrist (like all cultures but my own) so I am a bit biased, but still people need to open their eyes and change their perceptions

Almost like the Borg

One thing that frustrates me about university is the similarities between everyone. Here I am living in one of the most diverse places I've ever lived where everyone is seeking new knowledge questioning what they know looking at new ideas, and yet.... its all the same. We all write exams at the same time. we all get stressed at the same time. We are all aspiring to bigger and better things. We all value education. I mean we all have very different ideas and are studying very very different subjects but we are essentially all the same; we are all students. No one here is just wanting to work a simple job that will just get them what they need. So even though Everyone is very different here we are all very much the same, we have been assimilated... at least until we get our degrees

Midterms and stuff

so its been a while since i posted last... i need to get regular again, anyways its midterms now, i'm taking a study break, this week 3 midterms and an essay, going to a sushi buffet later today so thats good, hmmm what else is ther to say, well i've started gaming again, i decided that i miss being a geek and i think i can game healthily again, i'm also making an effort to start making art again, i mean i spent 8 months in a fine arts program no sense putting those skills to waste. and thats alll for now, peace

frig

so i read the exam schedual wrong, the exam i thought was next monday is tommorrow, that gave me 12h to study and sleep, crap, i g2g read

broken glass

people in glass houses should not throw stones, but they do.... perhaps this is due to a denile of their own glass existence, people talk about opeople too much and cause way too many problems, people need to think more about the effects of their words on others, everyone has flaws and issues they have to deal with, there are appropriate times when people may need to be made aware of issues, but if they are aware of the issue and are trying to improve it then pointing it out will only make it worse, peopel need to smarten up, me included, we don't need rto speculate on who has a thing for who and who has problems with what, we need to pull out the duct tape and strategically shut the mouths of our minds so that we don't continue this stupid trend... and that is my rant for today